“Seek first to understand the situation before asking to be understood” advice told by a friend.

Took a whole plane ride home, many tears out the window, and three more conversations to figure things out.

I’m sorry.
for being selfish.
for letting my pride get in the way.
for not fixing us sooner.

Two people with the same past, the same pain, the same ideas, the same anger
Split by time. Split by memories. Split by experiences.

Learning how to be there again. Learning how to enter each others lives. Learning how to walk side by side.

What I learned most is how to understand what you need from me not what I despise of you.

"boys are stupid". that is a real quote i heard today. damn. sounds like a book title.

last weekend was the not so spontaneous girls raod trip that was well needed. the girls piled in the Bug magazines and tote bags galore. wow - had it really been this long since this happened? not much has changed since the college day road trips except maybe the subjects we discuss and our upgraded lip gloss going from drugstore lip gloss in fruit flavors shifting to glaze baby mac lipstick. any maybe the pile of dollars bills we scrounged up between the group in order to make the car run. but never the less....the gabbing started even before the car door shut, catching up on holiday parties, christmas presents that got returned in order to get through the weekend, and of course, dumb boys.

there is nothing like pretending we were on a movie set of a cameran diaz christmas themed movie walking up to our aunt and uncle's house....over joyed by laughs, Glunt, and big cats...or was that part llama.

steve

the carefree spirit we had grown quite comfortable with had completely overtaken us. i don't know if it was the feeling that we could rule the world or that he looked so approachable that drew us to him. maybe it was the fresh plate of sushi he was about to devour. above it all, he had a smile that you could see from across the terrace. He welcomed us with that aloha smile and the glow of his dark tan looked a bit out of place for a chicago summer in early July. it was exotic. we knew he had stories. lots of them, and we were ready to listen. before we knew it we had plans to explore the world. take our cameras and board the next flight the Mexico. we were instant friends.
we were on the phone inviting his counterpart to come play and the four of us were bound to be close forever. the 2's plus steviemac and tommy. there was a bond, a connection, the laughs continued and the night was magical. we laughed about the huge chocolate bars steve was sending to all of his friends, and the No Fear we had inquired. every second of that night...who knew? we made promises to keep in touch and those were never broken.
two years later while laying on the beach in maui we would still reference the day we all met as one of the most amazing days ever...ever. no one would really know what made it so special. we all shared the same feeling of carefree bliss.
my friend jimmy says you should go through life and build “collective friends”. quality friends, the ones that you share sushi with and watch sunsets through wine glasses, the ones that tell you to go through life with No Fear. the ones who don't judge.
steve's heart was bigger than him.
he was loyal. an amazing father. a friend of the gecko. your surf instructor. a photographer. he was an optimist. a dreamer. looked at the good and loved life. he could read you. There was never judgment.
while sitting on the beach, steve told me once...."you gotta live through it, to learn from it". love your family and friends....forget about work and your job....
steve was mysterious. we called him the governor and tom was the mayor and debbie was the princess of the island.
your sprit will be within us forever and we might just always hate BMW's that drive fast.
we love you steviemac. when we get to heaven we'll look for waterfalls and go to the tiki bar with you and laugh....