expectancy, not expectation.

How removing the element of life from a noun can drastically alter a relationship.
“If two people are friends, there is an expectancy that exists within the relationship. When we see each other or are apart, there is an ‘expectancy’ of being together, of laughing and talking. That expectancy has no concrete definition; it is alive and dynamic and everything that emerges from our being together is a unique gift shared by no one else. But what happens if I change that ‘expectancy’ to an ‘expectation’ –spoken or unspoken? Suddenly, law has entered into our relationship. You are now expected to perform in a way that meets my expectations. Our living friendship rapidly deteriorates into a dead thing with rules and requirements. It is not longer about you and me, but about what friends are suppose to do or the responsibilities for a good friend.”

things we love

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mandybryant627/

a fabulous mermaid introduced me to mandy. dont you just love her.

post cards from the heart

always......

mermaids make me smile

dedicated to my mer dear friends.

~friendship flag

be open to what you hear

let it be.
whisper words of wisom
- listening for it.

there will be an answer.

ask those questions.....move forward from the responses.

best

best anthem.

day tripper by The Beatles

best night out.

1500 rooftop

best mood buster.

being alone, taking pictures, exploring the city, shopping, organizing 1500, lpz, 1500 roof, beach, ocean, water, music in the ears

best surprise gift.

flowers, surprise visit

best bargin.

the Rack and Costco

best sunday morning.

coffee, breakfast, up early, quiet, at peace, beach, no one, calm, bliss, read, music

best decision.

moving to chicago

what if both answers are true

what if both answers are true?

if the guy in question could be a combination of seemly opposite traits, might not the same be true in other circumstances?  a job loss be a stroke of good luck?  can you still be in love yet cheat?

we first need to feel safe.

1. set boundaries that correspond to the worst of time.

when times are good, establish limits that prepare you to deal with the relationship when times are bad.

this is how you keep from being blindsided. 

2. focus your appreciation on the best of times.

(book-What Happy People Know)

acknowledge the faults, dont focus on them, dont deny them, baste in his best legacy.

3. remain calm when you explore your options.

dont get caught up in the thought of past bad behavior predicts future consistency, but also dont assume his sweet charming behavior will last forever. when you explore the scope, youll learn if you can accept this particular mixed IV drip.

"existing in continuous creative response to whatever was present~ in their love lives, careers, and their definition of self."

Martha Beck writings......

content

who am i without my camera.  part of me is missing.

here is to being content.

"No need to hurry.

No need to sparkle.

No need to be anybody 

but oneself."

-Virginia Woolf,

From A Room of Ones Own

the mad hatter

does this mean im not real? 

~the mad hatter.

lacking creative juice.

how do i stop comparing me to you, and  you, and her, and him, and them, and their way, and how it was, and who you are, and how things should be, and how things were, and how things could be, and should be, and wont ever be.

how do you just be.  i wish to just be content.  happy.  blissful.

live so that you may live.

vive ut vivas

love

those who love less ..... controls the relationship.

scooters

new beginnings.....

life

you are loved 

                           i am not.

tired.  tired of not being loved.

my heart is tired of the missing love.

the breeze on my face

today was for me.  after learning the disappointment that i would not be sharing the day with my loved one.  it was a free expressful day of advernture and excitment.  full of things i love which these days is what makes my inside joyful.  my heart happy.  my head needed clearing.

up early.

domestic duties complete.

     bike ride to dry the hair.

     Mass in a beautiful church.

absorb the Gospel.  understand the Homely.  say prayers.  give thanks.

bike some more.  

feel the breeze on my face.

     explore the Chicago History Museum.

     buy a book about Dior (what i will name my imaginary child).

buy a book on Bertha Palmer.  whom i will leave behind next week.

eat ice cream and a can sprite in the cafe.

     talk to my mom.  push my bike home.

     just in time for an afternoon shower to cover the city.

count the clouds above.

sit in silence.

    re-type my future.

    pray some more.

Dear Jesus......please help me make the right decision tomorrow.  amen.

me

im meryl streep classy

act frankly

to live content with small means;

to seek elegance rather than luxury,

and refinement rather than fashion;

to be worthy, not respectable; and

wealthy, not rich; to study hard, think 

quietly, talk gently, act frankly...to 

listen to stars and buds, to babes and sages,

with open heart; await occasions, 

hurry never...this is my symphony.

`william henry channing

i am loved...almost

the only thing better than being loved is being told you are loved

well supe you are loved so you must feel the best

i wouldnt know

if you dont know then your not very perseptive by others actions

i cant assume

you smart enough to know

last i was told was im cared for, not loved

i sorry you think you need to hear to know

almost 4 years...and never once....yeah, im sorry that i need to too. but.....

ok i tell you when i come home

to

my

?

love

dream time

maya

you may not control all the events that happen to you.  but you can decide to be reduced by them.  maya angelo.

1500, you look smashing, i might add

amazing.  a few less pictures, a few less dirty filters.

the "Shawn Robinson Project" playing on the Bose.  (was i really obsessed with gangsta rap?)  oh.  the 2002 circa.  yummy.

back on track.

how good does my little antique road show look today.  even better tomorrow.  and after 5 years....i now live alone.  no jane.  no monte'.  no kim.  no amanda.  no bethany.  no nico.  no abby. no dan.  no juliet.  no romeo.  everyone is gone.  i now have a den.  17 closets.  a nook.  and a place to call my own.  all 1% of it.  yes.  i own.  not rent.  please check the owner box next time.

furniture placement.  magazines stacked.  carpets clean.  cb2....meet antiques road show.

im happy today.

summer...you will come soon, right?

xo-koop

to be

psalm 37:4

"Delight thyself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart"

there is something about when a child looks at you with admiration and likeness.  it gets inside your soul and makes you feel like you matter.  everyone wants to feel like they matter.

today i ask myself what would make me happier.  right now.  right this very second.  this moment.

pondering....

"to be loved"

"to be out of debt"

"to know why things are different and to have those back"

"good health"

"to have balance"

"to have honesty in all things"

the tulips are out today.

crawling up michigan ave.